Dual....:-)
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
