I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
