so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
