yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
ugly people sure do ruin things
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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