I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
