so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
