Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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