they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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