I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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