I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
