What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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