The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
