He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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