Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize