I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize