i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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