I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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