If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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