So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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