Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
