its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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