I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
