He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
