Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
