Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
