I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
