Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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