Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
