when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
