My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
May the power of my ass compel you!!
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
