Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
