I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
