she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
