They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
There's a naked man in my car right now.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
