my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
