At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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