the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
