I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
