Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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