yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
