If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
She's better-looking with the mask on.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
