It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Randomize
