I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I wish i was in the wii world.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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