this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
