their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
