Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Houston, we have a blender
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
