We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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