So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
