Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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