I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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