my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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