Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
pop tarts are not kleenex
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
