I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
and she was petting her beer can
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
