why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
As shirtless as possible
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Randomize
