Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize