no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
