Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
